What Causes Same-Sex Attraction?
Experts agree there are many factors that cause homosexual attractions to develop. In fact, Same Sex Attractions are the result of a complex interaction of a person's personality, biological inheritance, and developmental experiences. No one factor causes SSA and biology alone never determines orientation. However, same sex attractions usually develop because social and emotional needs were not met in the developmental years.
Understanding that things like personality, family dynamics, and childhood experiences co-contribute to the development of homosexual feelings should make two facts clear: First that no one is born gay, and second that no one chooses to have same-sex feelings. These two facts are vital for both an intellectual study and a charitable view of homosexuality.
Most people understand that environment influences a child in significant ways. Family and friends, society and one's experiences all influence how a person feels, how they view life, and how they act. For persons with SSA, each of these influences have played a part in their development of homosexual tendencies. Dr. William Consiglio, author Homosexual No More and founder of Hope Ministries, refers to this myriad of social and psychological influences as a "conspiracy of factors." These factors conspired or came together in the right amount at the right time to divert sexual desires in them.(Consiglio, p. 59) Causes are varied, such as one's relationship with his family and peers, the ability to identify with one's own gender, male or female, the degree to which a person's emotional needs are fulfilled, feelings of self-worth or value, and early sexual experiences.
Males can become aware of their same-sex attractions at an early age, sometimes as early as five years old. At first this longing for the same sex is not sexualized in any way, but begins as a natural desire for love, affirmation and interaction with the same sex. These boys often have missing or emotionally absent fathers. Some have the added dynamic of abuse causing fear and mistrust of males. When the psyche recognizes this innate need not being fulfilled, it reaches out with yearning towards the same sex. The formative years for the development of sexual feelings and attitudes are well before the onset of puberty and adolescence, which is why so many homosexuals feel they were born gay or have always been attracted to the same sex. On the other hand heterosexuals do not normally relate being attracted to the opposite sex "as long as they can remember." Most heterosexuals will point to puberty or highschool as the time they began being attracted to the opposite sex. So why the difference for homosexuals? The explanation lies in the fact that the homosexual's attractions to the same sex are not at their base a sexual attraction. Instead same sex attractions are a result of various factors that have led to basic emotional needs not being fulfilled for them, and their brain's visceral and subconscious attempt to meet those needs.
Dr. John Money (Johns Hopkins Hospital) explains, "The hormones of puberty activate what has already formed and is awaiting activation." (Money, p. 124) Normal development of heterosexual interests would proceeded instinctively if emotional maturity is not interrupted or blocked by a complex interaction of the type of factors discussed. Dr. William Consiglio sums it well:
"Homosexuality is not an alternative sexuality or sexual orientation,but an emotional disorientation caused by arrested or blocked emotional development in the stream of heterosexuality."
But the good news is that the condition is correctable. When these blockages are "successfully reduced, diminished, or removed, human sexuality can resume its natural heterosexual flow..." (Consiglio, 1991, p. 22)
Dr. Elizabeth Moberly, author of Homosexuality: A New Christian Ethic wrote, "Same-sex urges are not unrealistic or rebellious. It is not a fear of, or a flight from, heterosexuality. It is actually an unconscious attempt to fill your normal emotional needs and when these needs begin to be filled,...
"You can begin again. . .
progressing toward full heterosexual maturation."
This maturation is what happens in the cases of many ex-gays who report that as their same-sex attraction diminished and they learned to identify and meet their legitimate homo-emotional needs, they began to develop normal heterosexual attraction. But it is important to understand that the heterosexual attractions were not a replacement to the same-sex attraction, rather for those individuals, it was something like a plugged bottle. Once the plug of emotions were released via therapy, prayer, and genuine healthy relationships their arrested sexual development began once again to develop and mature naturally allowing heterosexual feelings to develop.
Orientation (mental) :
a function of the mind
The Truth shouldn't hurt, but if you suffer with SSA, or same sex attraction, it can feel like a double-edged sword. The attractions feel very powerful, and even though unwanted, they feel natural. Many with SSA mistake this to mean they were born Gay or they were created that way, but the truth is
Education is key. Click on the books to follow links. Find more links below to learn more.
“The last step in the development of homosexuality usually comes in the years after high school, when all kinds of options become available. Leaving the constraints and influences of home and church, a young man will often discover a world eager to usher him into the homosexual community. With the availability of gay bars, gyms, beaches, even the internet, numerous opportunities beckon a confused young man to be sought out or to seek out relationships with men.”
“Some choose to openly “come out” while others secretly “act out.” In either case, the homosexual who hasn’t been told the truth that his homosexuality is changeable, unknowingly becomes trapped. The seeming acceptance and rush of excitement that may seem fulfilling at the time, ends up leaving him empty and hopeless. ” Excerpt is from the Love Won Out Series.
The Truth Comes Out :
The Roots and Causes of Homosexuality
Act V: College and Beyond
Sexual Orientation: Developmental Experiences
Ex Lesbian Dee Barnes